Sunday, March 15, 2009

Does myspace destroy relationships?

Sorry girls, it's been ages since I wrote anything. I won't elaborate much, I've just been really busy, and haven't been able to check this. 

Meet Julie

I have a friend. Let's call her Julie. Julie is in her late 20s, and married with 3 kids. We're a bit apart in age, but really close, I've known her for along time. Julie really is a good person, so try not to judge her based on what I'm going to tell you. 

Last week, Julie had sex with another man.  She was with someone other than her husband for the first time in 7 years. It was an ex boyfriend she found on myspace. 

I'll give you a little back story. Around Christmas time, Julie started to get pretty depressed. She feels like her life has passed her by, and she hasn't accomplished enough, and her standard of living isn't where she would like it to be. Her husband doesn't communicate much, and is pretty angry all the time. He says horrible things to her, complains about the money she spends, and says she should get a job, and says there is no reason for her to get clothes and shoes, because she doesn't leave the house. 

He berates her constantly about how his life is horrible because he never sees his friends, never has any money, and she won't have sex with him anymore. He blames everything on her, and constantly throws everything in her face whenever he's had a bad day. She feels unnappreciated, unloved, and losing hope. So who could blame her for wanting some kind of escape? 

A cry for help

She sat down one day and logged into her myspace, and went to her old high school section and browsed around. She found an old boyfriend she'd almost forgotten about, and decided to message him. Thats how it started. She says the first message was fairly innocuous, just a "hi how is your life" type of thing. But the conversation slowly took a turn down a different path, and got a little racier. 

She admits the danger of it all excited her, she knew she shouldn't be doing this, but it felt good. She felt like someone wanted her again, someone cared. Her ex was single, and she joked about leaving her husband for him, and other flirty and steamy messages.  But she soon broke it off, mostly out of guilt. She felt like she was letting her kids down, and wondered what people would think if they knew she was talking to an ex-boyfriend on myspace. 

The levy breaks

Then a couple weeks ago, she changed her mind. After spending a couple months wondering what might have been, she couldn't take it anymore. She messaged her ex again, and told him she missed him, and wanted to see him again. The excitement ran through her veins like a drug. She was so nervous, but so excited. She made her plans. Her ex was excited too, and started thinking of ways they could get together. He was only about 20 miles away, so she thought she could pull it off. 

Julie planned a "girls night out" with some friends. She called a few of them (myself included) and told us about her plans to meet another man, and asked if we would vouch for her, and go along with the story. I really didn't want to do it, but I know she needed some kind of break from her daily monotony, and her husband is a jerk, so I said yes. She told us "don't worry, I'm not going to sleep with him or anything, I just want to go out and have some fun". 

The act of betrayal

He didn't have a car, so she agreed to pick him up at his place. When she arrived he asked if she'd like him to "show her around the apartment", and she went inside with him. According to her, within five minutes they were naked on his living room floor having wild, passionate sex. She was in complete control and knew what she was doing. She wasnt forced, coerced, or taken advantage of. And she loved every minute of it. 

They went out to a bar for some drinks and dancing. She met a few chicks there, and french kissed one in front of him, just to turn him on. She felt like a wild animal being let out of her cage. They pounded down drinks and went wild for a few hours, having the time of her life. After leaving the bar, they never even made it out of the parking lot, and were having sex in her car. They made it back to his place, and spent another hour or so having wild, drunken sex, doing things she'd never done with her husband, and just letting herself go free. She decided to stay the night. 

The next morning

Most of you girls reading this know the "walk of shame". The next morning, you are sobered up, needing a shower, and you just want to gather your things and get out. This goes for any one night stand or one time cheating scenario. But for her it wasn't as bad. She felt no regrets, and just wanted to leave mostly because her husband and kids would wonder where she was. She packed up about 7am and headed home. 

She called me, and we went out for coffee and she told me the whole thing. We concocted a quick story about what happened, and how she fell asleep at my place. She headed home, with a smile on her face, a spring in her step, and not a single regret. 

The moral of the story. 

The reason I'm telling you this, is so people can see the other side of the story. You see things in the news and likely in your circle of friends about women cheating with people they meet on myspace. You hear stories about women leaving their families for ex boyfriends or people they meet, and people are quick to give them the scarlet letter, and condemn them for it. But this story is a real story about real human being with needs and feelings too. 

She's unhappy, and really should pursue marriage counseling, or consider a divorce. She did something wrong, but it's easy to understand her reasoning. It's hard to take sides and assign blame, but one thing is clear: you can't blame myspace for this. 

What do you think? Email onehonestchick [at]

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Let's talk about money.

Ok, we've gone over the purpose of my blog. I want women everywhere to feel fine with who they are, and comfortable in their own skin. So, I'm going to talk about a hotly debated topic... women and money. Guys, you'll get the dirt. Girls, you'll realize you're not alone. 

Women love money, there's no disputing that. Men love it as well. The difference is, men have to work for it. Guys, I don't make the rules here, I just interpret my observation of it. If you're a beautiful woman, you don't have to work a day in your life. Working is for men, and the ugly. 

Women of all types, shapes and sizes want a guy with money. You can put a gun to our heads and we'll never admit it, because we don't want to be called a whore. But in the end guys, we generally choose the man with the most money as our final destination. 

We'll sleep with poor guys all day long in our younger years. We go through these silly phases where we think we can fix the badboy, or we find a guy who is really hot, but kind of white trash, or poor. This guy has no car, no money, and no future. We'll screw him blind if he wants, because for most women he's the best lay they've ever had. 

If you think for one second that some tattooed rebel guy in a band isn't better in bed then some boring accountant, you're only fooling yourself. 

Once we get through this phase, we start planting the seeds for our future. While the guitar player who sleeps on our couch all day can rock our world in bed, he's never going to get you a beautiful house in the suburbs and a new car every couple of years. But as I said, he's awesome in bed, and a thrill to be around. I've talked with housewives who have honestly told me they fantasize about their former badboys daily, because their financial analyst husband will never compare. 

In the end, guys must know this. The broke joke guy has to know he's just renting her.  Maybe that's why they are so fun. It's all temporary, and in the back of their minds they both know it. 

But here is the point of my post. Men, you need to realize that women are driven by money. If you have thoughts of long term relationships, marriage or children, the amount of money you make will determine the quality of wife you have, and that's a fact. When is the last time you saw a stunning, gorgeous older woman getting out of a beat up volkswagen at the supermarket? It just doesn't happen. When it comes down to choosing the end guy, money trumps all. Either money you have, or potential money. You can be cuter, funnier, and even better in bed. But the numbers make the final decision. 

If you really want to get the girl of your dreams, you need to do all you can to become financially successful. 

What woman doesn't want all the fun that comes with money? Nice houses, cars, vacations, ATVs, boats, the list goes on and on. The hotter we are, the more of that we're going to enjoy. It's just how it is. And ladies, embrace this as part of the system. You're not a whore, you're just an average girl like the rest of us. Hit the gym, get your hair done, and keep mr right in your sights! 

Friday, October 10, 2008

Why am I doing this?

I hate to jump the gun, or sound egotistical, but I think this blog will make a splash. I think people will read it. I think it will passed around. Why? Because there is nothing like it. And you might ask yourself "why is she doing it?".

As people read this, they will probably accuse me of being a guy, or a lesbian. I'm neither. Nor am I on any kind of mission. I'm going to be SUPER secret about my identity, because I am going to post secrets I dont want anyone to know, maybe even some of my closest friends. Why? 

I am doing this for several reasons, I'll list them in no particular order. 

I'm a journalism student with a passion for psychology and sociology. Someday I will be paid to write about this stuff. I'm cutting my teeth here. I can practice and hone my craft, without fear of judgement or repraisal. I can type anything I want here, as if it were some secret diary that the world may see, but nobody will know the author. 

I want to help men. I want to help women. I hope men read this, so they can get a better understanding of what women want. You guys are absolutely clueless. And frankly, you can't be blamed because men often are tricked into believing what we say, rather than the truth. We fill your head with all kinds of useless propoganda to cover up the truth, and you need to know this. Reading and understanding what I write will likely help you in your dating career. 

Have you ever heard a woman say "All I really want is a nice guy" yet you are totally confused when they only date jerks? This is a prime example of what I'm talking about. Yes, we are definitely attracted to jerks, and I'll explain why. I'll crack that mystery for you. Ever wondered why she wont sleep with you after 4 dates, but she slept with her ex on the first? I'll help you there too. 

But don't think this is all about helping men. I want women to read this too. I want you to know YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! I know the thoughts and feelings I have are shared by women all over this country, and I dont want you to feel alone. You can come here and read my posts, and maybe it will rid you of some of the guilt you feel. You are not alone, and you are not the only one. STOP FEELING GUILTY!!. Embrace what we think and feel, and hide it as best you can. It's worked for centuries, why tamper with it? Remember ladies......

We have the upper hand. We have what they want. 

That is all for now. 

So this is my first post....

I seriously have a lot to say here. I know I wont be able to nail it in one shot. 

I'm a girl. 
Doing an experiment. 
I'm real. 
You'll never read anything like this. 

I'm going to use this blog to express some of my most precious innermost thoughts. I've decided to be completely 100% honest in all of them. I am doing this anonymously and carefully. I will post EXACTLY what I think and feel on certain issues, and it may shock you. 

I will post what women REALLY think, at least what I really think, and my friends who I socialize with. I'll give you a hint: it's not what you think. Women say all kinds of things, and express opinions and beliefs that simply are not true. Behind the cloak is a different girl. Not all girls, but most. And I'm going to expose that inner girl. I'm going to talk about what we REALLY think about dating, marriage, and life in general. 

Some of it you may guess. Some of it you may say you know, but we deny it. I'll give you an example:

Yes, we really do prefer men with money. 90% of women feel this way, 1% will admit to you. 
Yes, we make ALL KINDS of exceptions on every rule we make if you're hot. We will tolerate you being poor if you're hot. We'll sleep with you on the first date if you're hot. We'll have sex with you without a condom if you're hot. These things are true. We wouldn't admit it at gunpoint, but it's true. 

I can't speak for all women, but I can speak for myself, and my friends. I have over 200 friends on my myspace page (Which I will NEVER post here) that are all friends I've met in person. I'm highly socialized. I have my finger on the pulse of women in their 20s. And I'm going to reveal it. 

Stay Tuned.